Current mood: disappointed
(???? – 1/16/08)
Fact: I own a 6 something foot long Boa that I feed Guinea Pigs and bought one Saturday with the sole purpose of being food for her. What makes people even more mad at the fact that I feed my snake animals intended on being pets is that I often give them guilt free attention and a false sense of security by petting them and stuff before I throw it to the metaphorical wolves lol. That’s what life is all about in my eyes.
And then came Dookie. (For the record Dookie is named Dookie after a character from one of my favorite shows The Wire, not because I’m some type of fecalphiliac lol)
The snake just couldn’t catch Dookie so it gave up and they co-existed, which I knew wouldn’t last too long. That’s when I decided to keep him with the hopes of finding a new home. The only problem with this was I didn’t have another cage to put Dookie in, so the only hard part was hoping the snake wouldn’t turn into a snake before Dookie moved out. Even worse Dookie trusted the snake more than me, ran to the snake whenever I’d open the cage and even started sleeping next to it. That’s like sleeping on a sword.
So today I was supposed to take Dookie to a home and leave out by 1 PM to take him there. Everything was cool, snake on one side of the cage, Dookie on the other. 5:45 AM I’m in my kitchen cutting up baby carrots for Dookie to give him a good meal before he went to a new home. I go to sleep at 6 AM. I then wake up at 9AM from the loud sounds of Dookie screaming in the cage getting choked out. The rest is pretty graphic, strange looking too because it wasn’t my snake’s typical constriction tactics. The Guinea pig stared me in my eyes the whole time cursing my soul probably. So that’s it. That damn snake stayed in the cage with Dookie from 6 PM on Saturday and couldn’t wait for 4 more hours. That’s that bull. So today I actually got that thing called a “conscience” and felt bad for getting Dookie all cozy in the first place. Not that I’ma stop feeding my snake Guinea Pigs, I’ll just toss them in like the food they’re supposed to be in the first place.
As for Dookie, airbrushed dedication t-shirts, graffiti R.I.P. murals and tribute songs will be coming soon. Until then, pour out some liquor for Dookie.
See you when I get there, in that….. gangsta lean, that gangsta lean, le-eean.
(Yes I know I have issues lol)